New Intention

by 伊凌 yi ling

So I quit my job.

I’m daring myself to become the organizer I dream of and didn’t dare to reach for with my heart until now.

Inspired from some rad AAPI feminists….Grace Lee Boggs–philosophy/praxis/dialetics/living to dismantle anti-Blackness. AC–elegance in moving across spaces, generous funding, advocacy and openness to bringing new energy in. AS–a commitment to working where one finds herself, pragmatic visioning and working from a seat of spiritual compassion.  Master Cheng Yen–utter integrity.  Utter utter integrity, sila, samadhi, panna.  Facing the sea of suffering and inspiring others to reach into their own compassion to take strategic action.

And Nellie Bly, one of my first heroes.  For daring greatly, again and again, unstopped in daring herself thus others to face tragedy and transform it.

I am scared, but learning that balance comes in movement, not in staying still and safe….I think about the grief and the death…the imbalance of those experiences just might be valuable.  If you feel it will allow you to connect more as an organizer to what people are going through, this is not wrong/avoidance worthy…

I think about my weaknesses and what I wish to transform.  The way I run away….Chinatown organizing taught me to face fears, have some compassion through Ms. Chang, who waited for me to show up and genuinely held me accountable out of compassion.  She taught me I mattered to that group.

I wish to become a great storyteller, articulating human strength and weakness and communal energy.  As an organizer, being able to navigate power and institutions and guide others. To make sure the institution backs the people.

I wish to be a good friend and practice friendship, equality, discovery, curiousity, community.