end of political organizing, 優雅知性

this is the end of my political organizing career.  well, technically it ended 1/20 with the counter-inauguration week ending.  what a time to end!  i’ve been writing the post on the burner as things wrapped up. indeed, goodbye political organizing!

with the afl-cio not paying me, i feel like the contradictions of the state of established labor movement are just not worth working through.  if someone is resolute on dying with their racism, patriarchy, white supremacy, capitalism intact, then so be it. sometimes the gnarliest grouches just gotta have their stubborn dying.

i simply will never be any great political organizer.  this is ok.  with not being built for this.  i recognize my constitution is differently constructed.

learned lessons (summarized best by my 學姐 Christina’s articulation of the research process):

with any hustle, (taxes politics gang members considered supply chain….for example avocados are used to hustle money across borders.  geo politics, taxes and tariffs, the immigrant traders know best)  understand as quickly as possible why things won’t work…pain point.  why isn’t it done before?  usually there’s a good idea.

research first: usually by trying, investigate why it hasn’t been done.

then understand failure. sometimes you can get the information from interviews alone.  but people in the industry aren’t inclined to usually just give it freely. if you don’t fit the archetype, they’ll block you out with subtle psychological tactics.  but screw archetypes, the world is changing so much.  if you gotta do it, and have that spiritual knowledge, keep the faith in face of all psychological endeavors.

but don’t be stupid.  if you know why to give up, be precise why you’re not pursuing it anymore.

then ask, should i make an investment?

it’s a beautiful learning process.

the gray stuff going on…that’s exactly what you need to understand

within economics it makes sense.

small business is full of wisdom about the world…import/export.  the immigrants are such great sources of wisdom because of their social networks and ties…contacts with shipping companies, markets.

taiwanese investors starting Japanese restaurants, higher profit margins…the cultural influence with contacts, Japanese high margin…Chinese is low margin, Shogun paid for extracurricular activities to hard.

comparative advantage is source of fish…good contact.  able to negotiate a good contract.  really great human psychology and getting to know people.

as i talk to Roxy, my 學妹 out of the same organizing home, i apprehend how community organizers can’t listen to community when having too strong of an agenda…the Movement to end oppression has fragmented (Dao De Jing) into too many sectarian movements.


i appreciate in political organizing..

the honesty about toxic human pollution. the fight to recognize the dignity, worth, value of life.  the genius, practice, courage, commitment amidst the self-made devastation.  Grace Lee Boggs, my namesake, SAY IT ❤

i dislike…

the lack of self 心 organizing.  the poisons masquerading as medicines. the spiritual theft we inflict with appropriation of other practices.  the false understanding of reparations, karma and returning and the abusive ways social justice concepts are inflicted upon already divided groups and communities. reifying power dynamics and hollowing out noble 心 labor wrought dignifying ideals of friendship, solidarity, equality, democracy, freedom into murky shibboleths for political cliques.  the conflation of trade with capitalism.

the oppressive performative radicalness at all edges of the political spectrum.  the oppressive passivity at the middles of society.

i miss…

the reverence embodied and practiced in temple.  the calm and protocol and lineage/customs of sanctification and purification. the daily communal discipline.

i disdain and critique…

spiritual crustaceans. calcifications of patriarchy, capitalism, classism, elitism, homophobia, militarism…traditional structures of greed, anger, delusion worshipped with bad faith, masquerading as the heart-core-mind-center 心 of Buddhism.

the oppressive neutrality.  the middle class* way (Anjali)

as the liminal messenger:

to monks, i say, what if my friends are finding dharma and reverence in different ways.  will you be open to instructing us?

to my friends, i say, what if the monks have maintained a lineage, a bhumi, that is rare to touch, even rarer to hear in our countless lifetimes?  will you be open to humbly listening and receiving instruction?

I apprehend: everything has been invented, not everything has been connected.

example: xi’an famous foods.  how to market to other groups.  key.

reflections from meditating on 心經 and the training to listen, the way Kuan Yin Pusa liberated themselves:

i listen to their shouts, and they hit the echo, the perimeter, the vast great container

i listen to the quiet sorrows of my uncles and aunties walking around without food in this snowy time.

i listen to my masters, and in their stillness, i hear the steady, Dharma, joy and life giving, as steady as the water that emerges from the stones of Lion Head Mountain, where Yuan Guan Shi is and Master PuXian teaches.

cranberry blob. it’s not enough.  we don’t have the time.

what’s a spiritual container for this now?

motivations…where am i going? how do i get there?:

i want Caedyn, Xiao Hua, Sarita ManYi to know rains that come in the right proportion, the right rhythms.

maybe i am a selfish person, too conceited to see how useless i really am.  but i just don’t find it in my heart at this moment to leave daisy, amanda, and the little one to the rains that have washed away their father.

i don’t see it kind, fair, right to leave my friend Ijeoma to her dying father as the floods of trauma in forms of dementia, white supremacy, diaspora come for him.  i know deeply from experience what it’s like to stand at the edge of the ocean of despair and shout for my father, for his rescue, for my rescue.

just as their emotions and challenges and karma will.  but not the karma we queue up like debt and expect them to pay.

how much resentment did i have to work through to even begin to deal with my father’s denial of his death?  my mother’s denial of her dreams?

so i practice to “超越 chao yue”, first to 超chao.

with an eye that maybe in this life or next life, i get to return to the path of full renunciation.

but i will practice a la Anathapindika and his family, to become stream enterers even if I remain a householder.  I practice the radical generosity and love of Khadija (r), what it means to be a good woman.

i dedicate my body to Manjusuri Pusa, Dizang Pusa and to be as beautiful and full of goodness as the vessel of Kuan Yin Pusa.  To be there with beings on the way to liberation.  To become what is needed.  To be guided by their great wisdom, determination, stillness, compassion, dedication, learning.  To be fearless in the face of hells and demons.  To be unmoved in the face of heavens and deities.

To this point, there is a girl-woman. Someone who I saw so possibilities abound in how she reached out, how she thinks and slowly articulates her care, her precision, her training, her quiet love and the humor that can’t help but burst from the lines about her observant eyes.  It’s in how she leads, how she retracts, how she feels, how she guides.

Now, I move as a woman in the lineage of my grandmothers.

to become the best woman i could be, in the lineage of my grandmothers, 黃真真 and 黃蜂.  the shopkeeper’s daughter, and the woman from afar who came to be with her husband and became the midwife of the fishing village. two women who’s names denote the direct lineage from the emperors.

2017 to sleekness, samadhi.

cultivating elegant living. preparing for elegant dying.

now…to cultivate the feminine approach to Dharma.

May all sentient beings come and coming apprehend equanimous joy, tranquility, security in their practice of liberation and to enlightenment!



Published by tingl1

indigenous (+) buddhist citizen

%d bloggers like this: