temple diaries

by 伊凌 yi ling

Congratulations today on ma becoming a bhikkuni. 慈願師父now, not “ma.”

Funny, how fulfilling my parents wishes was re-ordered my life yet in a way that is less and less 衝突 with 自己理想。it feels far more blessed.

Had an advance in meditation today—took it a bit easier with resting. Though mid day meditation was all over the place, I am feeling that joy at 清境 that keeps me continuing. At night I was able to catch up with Amanda and chat about their life (another breakup!) and spiritual debts and their recovery. Then at night meditation seemed to go smoother—adjusting the leg, not getting stressed over the heating of the body. At one point I really began to see what 大師父 said about this insubstantial body—how it’s unreliable and tenuous when observing this body in meditation.

I observe my arrogant 慢xin when resisting chanting 阿彌陀佛—this chant of centuries and Chinese lineage…and the point of resistance that when broken thru becomes a clearing of joyful hearing.