temple diaries

by 伊凌 yi ling

Learning non western medicine as I’m ill with 胃炎. Somehow this feels so tied into emotions, a roiling knot after moon time that has surfaced to be dealt with. I feel terrible–unable to eat and help out in the last dog days of kitchen duty rotation. The doctor has told me to stay away from fruits and pretty much anything spicy and savory. Just seaweed and congee for me these days with the medicine.

監智師, the beautiful nun with lion eyes came to check in on me, giving me a lecture on the insubtantiality of all phenomena as the rain came pouring down. How she can sense my turmoil…I suppose this is 修行的功德…penitent my surly heart…the knots we tie surely find us…like the compassionate water samadhi Sutra: even after lifetimes of virtuous practice, Wu Da Shifu still was struck by an illness in a moment of pride and found only relief in the arahant’s wise instructions of penance.

I am no means on his level, just someone who is similarly paying a debt for distraction from 道心…a misty mountain morning lifetimes ago when my heart fled the practice for love, a practice 我這一輩子一定要嚴厲.