temple diaries

by 伊凌 yi ling

大師父要進入進修。gave a solemn talk: 深入經藏…問問題. Rarely are there successors to great teachers.

Could patriarchy be a strong reason!?

I vow to surpass him in this regard, to take up this responsibility of embodiment and education transmission.

Observing the relations of teacher student here. I’m grateful my father relation and responsibility to him is complete. To not come to this practice with father issues unresolved. I didn’t know 大師父 really or come for him. I wish him well and maybe he really will fly out after recovering his health more.

Mara came for him, he still went forth knowing full well the consequences of challenging with truth. Mad respect.

I’ve got to learn as such: to be able to be compassionate yet unrelenting.

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Joy is slightly too sweet but still great pizza and finishing five pages of my personal bio.

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Joy is learning decolonial massage.

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Thinking about how modern queer movements lack a show of why gatekeepers in the original sense of this role are necessary…a need for spiritual responsibility or a respect for the wisdom that springs forth. Respect all the people I know doing this work on the fringes and the bridges to their worlds.

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Praise-affirmation is quite useful with 淨念 and 妙果.

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Have I found the 6th ocean?heart to heart reflections on repression, orphan life. They’re the youngest apart from the son. Wishing to continue their education, caught between filial piety and that self realization. I told them the story of Lily who had that, but solved the pain even less. Hoping that one day they’ll meet my friends who need to overcome this suffering.

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savor this time. Most improvements and foundation work while heart is most earnest. Get ready so tonsure is not just removing your hair.