falling asleep around midnight and breathing in the stake lodged sharply in my throat and waking into whirling seascapes, only by afternoon i return to walking on sealegs on land
a dear dear friend, returned to his pacific shore, telling stories of his naturopath doctor’s visit and the crying as he uncovered the sinews if lost solace running through his work and love and wheat longing in a return to his mother.
bless these friendships that weave a way through water🌊
I heard from a nun who heard from a monk who travels frequently to teach in Asia, that last year 2018, the Yangtze/Yellow river turned completely clear for a day. The last time this happened, Sakyamuni Buddha was born. Could it be, the monks whisper, that a sage has been born?
Hearing this story, I remembered the prophecy of the 7th fire. And the Hopi prophecy of the coming of the True White Brother, from this land…
Been drinking Ca++ for a month and had a trial of sprained and swollen wrists, detoxification that rendered digestion a bit…off for a couple of weeks. These “fun” powdery folk medicines only available in the nun networks. Though now out of production due to the Fukushima incident contaminating the oceans.
I’ve been taking this sick leave to extendedly contemplate…what I hope to get done here. Even tucked away on bedrest, the mercurial weather patterns are in full effect. I imagine the horror of dried out riverbeds that line the train tracks along the eastern shore. These imbalances that have no redress…in this “spiritual community.” The pointless cultivation and weeding of gardens here, when the world is burning. Jarringly, this strange continual comfortable control… when this next decade, barring drastic pivots and decolonizing land and water relations, quelling industrial destruction, we as a species are choosing between catastrophe and maneagable crisis…I really wonder why, why, why? Where? How?
Discussing the 2/28 and white terror history of Taiwan and an inevitable re-merging with mainland and our chinese future with professor nun with the lion eyes. It would seem that Taiwan has been at the flippant mercy of western utility. The southern strategy…not sure how that’s going. She mentioned how strong the women were here, and simultaneously how much weaker the men were. We discussed the lack of focus of Taiwanese, perhaps due to a history of constant colonization, a refusal to recognize our roots: indigenous/Chinese/Hakka. The lack of great masters of Buddhism of Taiwanese heritage–everyone that became notable was a Chinese refugee. Perhaps an internalized idea that Taiwanese are good for laboring and perhaps this translates into a penchant for 培養福報 and self corralling into a more vicious form of Confucian patriarchy.
Patriarchy is no substitute for a healthy masculinity. It’s a farce. So what about the masculinity that militant Buddhist discipline requires…what could come in a compassionate inquiry in that sphere? As angry as this twins deportation has made me, one reflection I’ve discussed with two of my dearest friends has been seeing my own masculinity soften in this environment these months. That’s valuable work too. So how can I examine myself and the environment and work for interdependent improvement?
In lieu of the many weeks that have passed, a short update on one of the most dramatic days yet in temple…
The twins left after being denied again for progressing along the path. This attrition of young people…on taken indigenous land from local Amis tribes…with non native trees barely thriving…all these temples that are emptying out due to patriarchy. I have to believe that the youth, the feminine, the related, no matter how spoiled and arrogant we are called, have an innate sensibility to respond to what’s alive and what’s crushing us correctly with anger.
Ate 11 pieces of pizza today just to prove that it’s not men who can eat a whole pizza. I promised to bake a better one than this store bought Pizza Hut version. Why do taiwanese people modify everything into too much sweetness?
Told my college evil neighbor durian revenge story which the Chinese shifus enjoyed. And the standing rock stories while learning about the healing agent of Ca++ water now only available in limited supply through temple networks. The Shifu promised to let me bring some back to my friends.
Amy emailed back! I’m so happy to hear queer artist friends enjoying so much from a short stay. Come again and come all dear friends!
Caught a 眼鏡蛇 snake for the first time in my life. Unfortunately it left behind a half bitten toad–blood spilling into the concrete road barriers.
Quietly a year eve passed and now how things changed for doggie.
And ginger cookies a hit with the health loving shifus.
Massage life continues 💩
Making roti canai with 悟相師, 覺仁/海/滿師，淨一師. Spreading joy thru international bread making!
Watching 100 year xu yun: how to not let a single drop of water dry out: let it back into the ocean.
I wish my black and south Amerikan friends to come.
As we chanted, the fog held spirits I sent these food to…and in the end of our chanting they fell as rain. Our hearts free one another.
南無虛空藏菩薩 brother of 地藏菩薩…
Gender convos: jingnian can’t be “chabebe” cuz that’s for girls. And master’s mom/cute temple grandma calling me “endaoah” 帥，or sakyamuni buddha is 帥 and so is jakucho setouchi in chats with性玓師
We are cleaning trees, untethering from typhoon prep, and taking apart fans and laptops. What’s not to respect about this?
淨念 broke his leg today when he jumped off the bike.
Ginger snaps for new year?
Kinda excited to spend the New Years here, no lie. 2014-2015 was in Vipassana in Texas, now 4 years later, back in a temple setting. Level up.
Gave grandma a massage today and Han Shifu with stomach stuff and wechatted Haixuan Shi tooth pain pressure points.
Ants in the ear, best cure is natural. Use light.
Emily, Amy, Jessica have left! What a whirly worldwind. So much to chew on meeting artists friends around the world, contemplating how to move beyond empire metaphors. Gemini’s galore.
業力+煩惱 🆚 願力+悲心
Remembering ba today and growing in meditation…
Getting ready to cut my hair in his death anniversary honor. One stalk for his health, one stalk for all 冤親債主，one for all the travelers in this turbid time.
Adju—the Paiwan word for a relationship between two women. Apparently pingtung held its first queer indigenous festival this weekend ❤️🌳👯♀️🌈🌊⛰️