In lieu of the many weeks that have passed, a short update on one of the most dramatic days yet in temple…
The twins left after being denied again for progressing along the path. This attrition of young people…on taken indigenous land from local Amis tribes…with non native trees barely thriving…all these temples that are emptying out due to patriarchy. I have to believe that the youth, the feminine, the related, no matter how spoiled and arrogant we are called, have an innate sensibility to respond to what’s alive and what’s crushing us correctly with anger.
Ate 11 pieces of pizza today just to prove that it’s not men who can eat a whole pizza. I promised to bake a better one than this store bought Pizza Hut version. Why do taiwanese people modify everything into too much sweetness?
Told my college evil neighbor durian revenge story which the Chinese shifus enjoyed. And the standing rock stories while learning about the healing agent of Ca++ water now only available in limited supply through temple networks. The Shifu promised to let me bring some back to my friends.
Amy emailed back! I’m so happy to hear queer artist friends enjoying so much from a short stay. Come again and come all dear friends!
Caught a 眼鏡蛇 snake for the first time in my life. Unfortunately it left behind a half bitten toad–blood spilling into the concrete road barriers.
Quietly a year eve passed and now how things changed for doggie.
And ginger cookies a hit with the health loving shifus.
Massage life continues 💩
Making roti canai with 悟相師, 覺仁/海/滿師，淨一師. Spreading joy thru international bread making!
Watching 100 year xu yun: how to not let a single drop of water dry out: let it back into the ocean.
I wish my black and south Amerikan friends to come.
As we chanted, the fog held spirits I sent these food to…and in the end of our chanting they fell as rain. Our hearts free one another.
南無虛空藏菩薩 brother of 地藏菩薩…
Gender convos: jingnian can’t be “chabebe” cuz that’s for girls. And master’s mom/cute temple grandma calling me “endaoah” 帥，or sakyamuni buddha is 帥 and so is jakucho setouchi in chats with性玓師
We are cleaning trees, untethering from typhoon prep, and taking apart fans and laptops. What’s not to respect about this?
淨念 broke his leg today when he jumped off the bike.
Ginger snaps for new year?
Kinda excited to spend the New Years here, no lie. 2014-2015 was in Vipassana in Texas, now 4 years later, back in a temple setting. Level up.
Gave grandma a massage today and Han Shifu with stomach stuff and wechatted Haixuan Shi tooth pain pressure points.
Ants in the ear, best cure is natural. Use light.
Emily, Amy, Jessica have left! What a whirly worldwind. So much to chew on meeting artists friends around the world, contemplating how to move beyond empire metaphors. Gemini’s galore.
業力+煩惱 🆚 願力+悲心
Remembering ba today and growing in meditation…
Getting ready to cut my hair in his death anniversary honor. One stalk for his health, one stalk for all 冤親債主，one for all the travelers in this turbid time.
Adju—the Paiwan word for a relationship between two women. Apparently pingtung held its first queer indigenous festival this weekend ❤️🌳👯♀️🌈🌊⛰️
Morning meditation was deeply profound: what was there that was defiling my worldly compassion?
Like the church that stood alone amongst the ruins after Katrina 7 years later…
A day off after a week of massage training. Poor jingnian puked in the car on the way to our half day vacation. Once we arrived at 東里車站, an old remodeled train stop with an incredible Mountain View. Even 玉山⛰️ could be seen.
Got to put tea tree oil and tui na into use right away with 昶師父’s headache.
Had a very inspired talk with 覺意師 while drinking 普爾 more senior than me and a few other 師父師。菩薩永遠在加慈你的。her stories about how her love and loss of her mother brought her to Buddhism…bonding over cultural values and parental loss and spiritual re-directions while amongst the mountains and in the watchful gaze of honey the white dog of the train station…
learning to 平箱入！ damn you can’t press. 海宣師 made fun of me for groaning about it as if I was getting smacked again in 推拿 class. But 性玓師 is encouraging as always.
Belatedly I am still so happy I got to share my autobiography. 演迦師，覺塵師，海宣師…curious what 翰師父and睿師父and慎師父gonna think.
Learning to place offerings today and had such a nun crush moment. 🥰⛰️🌊🌳❤️
Accident: one of the teachers calling me Shifu and the teacher telling me instead of ordaining to come train with him in this decolonial massage. Appreciate the conditions ready to receive these teachings and grow well 🥰😁
Got a treatment for my period pains. Massage the area behind the bone above the ankle and butt and heel. Massage my thumbs because of adnoid surgery and weekly treatments
堆積很多，sounds way better than you’re fat. All can be dealt with.
虛胖：too much water, insubstantial.
大師父要進入進修。gave a solemn talk: 深入經藏…問問題. Rarely are there successors to great teachers.
Could patriarchy be a strong reason!?
I vow to surpass him in this regard, to take up this responsibility of embodiment and education transmission.
Observing the relations of teacher student here. I’m grateful my father relation and responsibility to him is complete. To not come to this practice with father issues unresolved. I didn’t know 大師父 really or come for him. I wish him well and maybe he really will fly out after recovering his health more.
Mara came for him, he still went forth knowing full well the consequences of challenging with truth. Mad respect.
I’ve got to learn as such: to be able to be compassionate yet unrelenting.
Joy is slightly too sweet but still great pizza and finishing five pages of my personal bio.
Joy is learning decolonial massage.
Thinking about how modern queer movements lack a show of why gatekeepers in the original sense of this role are necessary…a need for spiritual responsibility or a respect for the wisdom that springs forth. Respect all the people I know doing this work on the fringes and the bridges to their worlds.
Praise-affirmation is quite useful with 淨念 and 妙果.
Have I found the 6th ocean?heart to heart reflections on repression, orphan life. They’re the youngest apart from the son. Wishing to continue their education, caught between filial piety and that self realization. I told them the story of Lily who had that, but solved the pain even less. Hoping that one day they’ll meet my friends who need to overcome this suffering.
savor this time. Most improvements and foundation work while heart is most earnest. Get ready so tonsure is not just removing your hair.